Obama Gives Good Speeches

Obama’s speeches are a real testimony to his intellect and his position of authority, undoubtedly. His cool, sweet words caress the mind like a mountain breeze after a spring rain. He captivates us all with his enchanting symphonies of phonetic splendor.

Oh dude, FACE PALM! I really just can’t say that I get it….

What’s even more of a monument to astonishment is the fact that SOOO many of these hardcore conservative biker redneck assholes that don’t even have a steady grip on the English language are always confessing how Obama is such a good public speaker…. before they disagree with everything he says and denounce him as a traitor and communist.

Touché

Here is a printed script of an audio conversation I recorded after an explicit sex act that a fat white redneck woman participated in with Mr. Obama before the election.

Bitchy ass fat redneck, “mmmm, that was sooo good. My heart still beatin fast from that”

Obama, “I know, I can feel the steam from your breath moisten your pleasured words”

Bitchy ass fat redneck, *giggles* “You are such a smoof tawker. I luuv the way you tawk to me!”

Obama, “I know, I’ve heard… as I’ve heard the echoes of the angels’ trumpets from heaven as they resound your name in a fading whisper upon my satisfied ears.”

Bitchy ass fat redneck, *smiles* “Oh baby, you are so good! I can’t ba-leeve I let you tawk me inna givin you a beer-shit blumpkin. I can’t ba-leeve I let you tawk me inna lettin’ you fuck me in my ass N donkey punchin’ me til my last toof fell out then tawkin’ me inna  gummin yer  baws while you slapt me inna face with yer dick. No man has ever tawked me inna anythink like that bahfur!”

Obama, *grins*, “So I can count on your vote this election so we can pass health care reform?”

Bitchy ass fat redneck, “Oh NO NO!, don’t try’n smoof tawk me you  gawd damn commie!!!! Ain’t No Free Loader gettin’ my money”

Obama, *surprised* “But baby, I thought I meant something to you?”

Bitchy ass fat redneck, “I said now don’t try N smoof TAWK ME!!”