You’ve probably never heard of William Ellison, but he truly was a remarkable man. A Black Slave in the antebellum age of the United States who became one of the wealthiest business owners in the South while slavery was still legal. In fact, he owned over 60 slaves himself. The chances are you did not hear about this person in your high school classes and this is probably the first time you’ve ever heard the name. But Why? You see, playing the race card in politics is a lot easier when your audience suffers from mass cultural delusions and inescapable ignorance. Political and social opportunist groups love the fact that they can prey upon your unexamined guilt to move their agenda forward.
Instead of taking an opportunity to imbue ourselves in the richness of history and gaining a true perspective on how the evolution of human society unfolded over our timeline, we’re once again steeped in the nonsense of politically charged race baiting assholes who revel in the fact that they can manipulate you with fear of becoming a social pariah until you suck their cocks and kiss their asses. It’s bullshit. The irony of course is that the more you comprehend about the nature of history and the world, the less influence these so called “historians” have over you.
If you’re going to research your history, do it boldly and honestly. Acquiring knowledge isn’t for everybody, no, but if you’re going to dabble in the arena of intellectualism, at least know your facts. Instead of striving to be one of these assholes who insist upon digging up the past purely to aggrandize your propaganda arsenal, perhaps try to attempt to learn what actually happened in reality simply for the sake of knowing what happened in reality. Fearlessly examine every angle without having your strings pulled by another politically correct fuck who is more interested in converting your beliefs than offering you priceless knowledge.
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In the 2005 classic, Thank you for Smoking, the merchants of death (the m.o.d) seen above talk about how you can beat an alcohol breath test by sucking on activated charcoal tablets.
After much research, it is suggested that you can lower the reading on a breathalyzer by sucking on activated carbon, but it would have to be in such a large quantity that you’d never get away with it anyway.. Sucks.
Anyway, while doing my research, I noticed a lot of idiot commentary on many article’s comments sections with a few very intelligent people who think they’ve really figured it out. .. The best way to beat a breathalyzer:
Don’t Drink and Drive!!
Do me a favor….shut.the.fuck.up
Seriously, telling somebody that the way to beat a breathalyzer is not to drink and drive is so fuckin’ stupid.
It sickens me that these assholes actually patted themselves on the backs for being the first ones to be so clever to provide this answer. You had a 50/50 chance to say something that wasn’t completely fucktarded and you blew it.
You are the boy scouts who tell real men not to fuck when they’re horny so they can avoid STD’s. You don’t want a baby? Don’t fuck. Hahah, yes! we figured it out! How come you didn’t think of this before?
All life involves harm, learn to accept this reality. For most of us, life also involves a good time here ‘n there. Nobody likes you nor wants you around nagging them with your bullshit while they’re tryin’ to have a good time.
Stay off the road, stay indoors where it is safe. We don’t want you driving next to us when we’re drunk cuz you’re always the fuckin’ douchebags we end up hitting. 2am – 4am should be drunk driving hours…
If some dude gets wasted and crashes into your yard gnomes, THEN we’ll punish him, trust us.
Here’s my drinking and driving message:
be cool if you’re drinkin’ and drivin’.. . don’t want to miss sunday pizza and the charity car wash .. those poor cheerleaders need new uniforms bro.
I’ve worked with a lot of vendors and small timers over the years and I really do love these people. They are creative, inspiring, intelligent, free-wheeling people who set so much greatness in motion that they will never really comprehend it. I’ve seen some of the best products come out of the smallest shops. There’s just one thing I will never understand– their inability to admit that they like to make money. Yeah, I’m all for the creative process.. it’s definitely not all about profit. I love art, philosophy, uniqueness, originality, etc, etc. .. but when your sales are high and you have tons of cash rolling in on a good day— you’re fuckin’ happy. Live with that reality.
Take a deep breath, relax, and admit that you’re a human being who likes, among other things, to make a fuckin’ stack of money.
Feels a little better admitting it, doesn’t it?
Who hasn’t been here?
You’re all out on the town, sinking some cold suds, partying, chillin’… next thing ya know, some chicks show up to the party or you happen to find a party later in the night… Nothin’ like being young and ready for the hunt… Then some sexy ass bitch with a fat annoying friend starts to hang out with you guys and sharin’ some booze ‘n what not. The girl seems like she’s all about you…
So you guys are drinking together and the hottie is gettin’ pretty friendly with ya.. she’s having a blast, and you know you’re the one that’s going to get to fuck her. She took a shine to you, and there’s nothing that can stop that awesome feeling… where’s it going next? Maybe she’s cool enough to hang with you again? blow job? sex? She gets closer to you….
Then it happens…….
“Come on, We’re GOING HOME!!” the fat ugly friend explodes…
There’s no patching up the flat tire at this point on the trip… once a fat girl goes into cock block mode, there’s little that can be done to save the night. She wants to go home, and she wants to take that sexy little girl away from you. Seething in jealousy, there’s little recourse left cuz fatso is tired and knows if she doesn’t do anything to interfere, you and her friend will be fuckin’ in peace and bliss while she waits in misery.
ah, fuck… what went wrong?
Here’s what happened dude… you let the fat ugly bitch get bored. You always, always, always need to have someone to come out with the rest of you that is gonna take one for the team. This guy is the designated fat chick smooth-talker, his function is to reverse the inevitable jealous rage that will surely erupt if the fat bitch is not being patronized and catered to. He don’t have to do anything but talk to her and keep her amused. .. make her feel wanted.
Somebody’s gotta do it, or that sexy little vixen is gone.
Rules for sexy party girls:
- Never stay at your fat ugly friends’ house if that’s where you start drinking, find a new place to go early in the night.
- Always have an alternative way home in case your fat ugly friend tries to stop you from having fun
- Always stay in a group of other sexy girls.. the competition might be more intense, but at least the fat ugly friend will keep quiet if there’s more than one of you. .